The thing that's making me need a big, long, comforting hug is the thing that's getting in the way of a big, long, comforting hug.
The thing that's making me want to curl up in bed and wrap myself in my duvet is the thing that's preventing me from curling up in bed and wrapping myself in my duvet.
The thing that's making me want to get shit-faced drunk is the thing that's not allowing me to get shit-faced drunk.
Maybe, like that Alanis Morissette song, none of this is actually irony. Maybe it's just bad luck, but it's oh so tiresome. The most frustrating thing about a halo is I can't escape it. My troubles are screwed into my head. This thing infiltrates my mind when I sleep and doesn't even let me dream halo-free.
I'm pleased to have almost reached the half way mark but this has been the longest 6 weeks of my life and now I have to do it all over again.
This isn't the most upbeat of posts and I know I will get through this but I've kind of plateaued for now and can't get past "ok".
I'm anxious about my appointment on Friday. I'm worried they will tell me I'm not healing and I need to be in this longer. I'm worried my pins have come loose and they need to move one again or there is an infection brewing.
I know all of these feelings are natural and I'm permitting myself a few off days. This will all be a memory soon. Right now, it just doesn't seem like soon enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment