This week wasn't so good. On Friday I went for my routine appointment, shampoo at the ready, only to be told the back right pin had completely lost tension. They could basically twist it round with their fingers which felt really bizarre. A CT scan and a few hours later, they determined it would need to be taken out and a new pin would need to be put in beside it. Oh, and no shower. Great.
Re-positioning the pin was about 50% as bad as having the Halo fitted and, trust me, that's bad enough. C was allowed to be there this time which was a comfort. It can't be pleasant watching a pin get pushed into someone's head, he was great. The cause of the loosening is unknown and the front left was also very loose and now has to be monitored closely. At least there is no sign of infection for now.
Friday night was awful. I felt so low, over it all and in pain. I took an Endone to help me sleep then woke up on Saturday morning and had a melt down. I believe it was the Endone, I felt exactly how I felt in the first few hospital days. I couldn't stop sobbing and couldn't control my breath which felt horrible as it was putting strain on the two pins screwed into my forehead. I didn't want to leave the room. C calmed me down, I had a good wash and felt a bit better. His sister later performed an emotional healing on me and I released A LOT. She could feel that my body hadn't fully processed or let go of all the trauma and shock from the accident. It made complete sense and I have been much calmer since. We ended up having a lovely impromptu night with C's family at his sister's house which lifted my spirits.
So, it was back to The Alfred on Monday to have the pins re-tensioned again. This time I was allowed a shower which made the trip worthwhile. All being well, I can see the half way line now which I feel will be a huge milestone. Onwards and upwards.
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