30/04/2017 - Happy Days!

IT'S OFF!!  2 WEEKS EARLY AND I FEEL FRRRRREEEEEEEEE!  Here's what happened:

The day before my routine tightening and shower appointment  (27/04) there was a message on my phone from my orthotist asking me to go to the fracture clinic before the appointment.  I freaked out a bit, given the day I had last Wednesday, I was worried they had found something more serious upon further inspection of the CT scan.  I called the fracture clinic, told them I was anxious and the doc said "it's nothing to worry about, they just want to decide whether the HALO can come off or if you need another re-adjustment". "Come off?  It might come off?".  I tried not to get my hopes up but needless to say, I didn't sleep so well on Thursday night. It turned out that was my last night sleeping in the HALO.  WOO HOO!

Last week's visit to the Alfred wasn't a complete waste of time as the doctor had since looked at the CT and decided I was healed enough for removal, as opposed to risking more problems with the pin sites. Yay! The removal wasn't as bad as I was expecting.  I had watched youtube videos of HALOs being removed and was expecting a bit of pain.  The feeling was more of intense pressure rather than pain, but it doesn't take long.  It's not a pleasant feeling but I had been through worse and it was nowhere near as bad as having it fitted.  I felt a little light headed at first and every tiny movement in my neck felt amplified but it wasn't as weird as I expected.  It was lovely to get the vest removed and feel the air on my back.  I now have to wear a Miami J collar for the next 4 weeks, which is a bit of a bummer but I can tolerate anything after the HALO!

The first thing I did was hug C and it felt amaaaaaaaazing!  Then, I spent the whole day with a massive grin on my face (see above) thinking "I couldn't do that with the halo on" (hug, get in and out of a car without contorting, sit in a comfortable position, put a T-Shirt over my head, scratch my head, scratch my back, brush my hair, wear a beanie, did I mention hug?)  It was like little pieces of joy being dispensed to me all throughout the day.  I put my head against the pillows that night, pulled the duvet right over my shoulders and it felt divine.  C cuddled into my back and I was in heaven!  I haven't had the full hair-wash-shower yet (I've been advised to wait until the pin holes are fully sealed) but tonight's the night and I can't wait.  

For the next 4 weeks, I'm only allowed to remove the collar when I change the linings (every 2-3 days or after I wash my hair) but so far it's a piece of cake compared to the HALO.  I have to be cautious as the fracture is still somewhat unstable and I'm more vulnerable in the collar.  My shoulders and neck feel a bit stiff and the pin sites are itchy but that's minor niggles.  IT'S OFF!  Most of my non-halo clothes are at the festival site so I'm still wearing wide necked tops and this morning I stepped into one and laughed as I pulled it up, forgetting it could have gone over my head.  Sometimes, it's the little things we barely consider in life that we take for granted.

21/04/2017 - Are we nearly there yet?

I'm over it.  Let's face it, I was over it the minute it got fitted but now, stick a fork in me, I'm done.

If I could sum up the Halo experience in one word, the word would be 'boring'.  Not just boring as in not much to do but boring as in there hasn't been much else going on in my life besides the halo.  I'm bored of talking about it, I'm bored of adjusting everything I do to suit it, I'm bored of being uncomfortable, I'm over missing out on things and I'm really over not being able to have a fucking shower. I'm acutely aware of the time that has passed whilst I've been in this and listen with envy to people talking about work and their goings on and their plans.  I can't contribute much to these conversations as I've not done much except learn to live in a halo.

I know, I know, I only have three weeks left.  21 days, that's nothing really.  Current attitude equates to that being a really long three weeks so I have to toughen up.

Speaking of tough, I had a waste-of-time day at the Alfred this week.   The hospital provide halo patients with a handy 'how to live life in a halo' booklet that has a massive scary red box that shouts:

"IF YOU NOTICE ANY OF THESE SYMPTOMS AT YOUR PIN SITES PLEASE CONTACT YOUR ORTHOTIST IMMEDIATELY"

I was aware of an occasional sharp pain in my back left pin over the weekend and when we were cleaning it we noticed it was red and there was a fair bit more crust than usual.  Gross, sorry, but this is 3 of the symptoms they ask patients to look out for.  I woke up on Wednesday morning with throbbing pain that brought me to tears and made me feel sick.  I called them and they asked me to come in so C took the day off work and drove me 2 hours to the hospital.  They checked tensions, poked and prodded, tightened slightly (OOOOOUUUUUUUCCCHHHH!) then sent me for a CT.  This took all day.  In the end they told me they had "good news and bad news".  The pin hasn't moved and the scans look normal, there's no sign of infection but they don't know what's causing the pain.  "Come back if it gets worse". WHAT?  I may as well have stayed in bed with painkillers, that would have been more fun.  Anyways, there is still some pain but it has calmed down so at least that's a positive.

On another positive, completely different note I did something this week that I have never done before and I wrote a song.  It's a thank you to C and I'm going to be brave and play it at the next jam.  It's kinda sweet and I'm proud of it.

So, sorry about the rant, I'm just sick of being the girl in the halo and can't wait to just be me again.  Only three weeks to go, I'm getting restless.  I'm like a child waiting for Christmas.

14/04/2017 - Getting there...

The end is in sight and it's exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  4 weeks seems so do-able, it's a relief to reach that mind set.  I don't feel like there is much to report on this week because everything has been fairly 'normal' despite the Halo.

My appointment was on Wednesday, instead of today, because of the Easter public holiday.  The Halo is still behaving itself and everything is on track for removal.  C and I went to the movies afterwards then stayed at a friends house where we caught up and had a few beers.  I met some friends for lunch yesterday then had a few beers with my cousin last night.

I'm staying in Melbourne with my cousin this weekend and it's therapeutic to have a change of scenery.  I'm looking forward to going back to the caravan next week and staying with C, then we have a wedding to attend on the 22nd.  I've found a decent outfit to wear, it's not what I would normally choose, but it's practical and i'll just need to rock it with some red lippy and a headscarf to cover the greys!

It's fun to be out and about and catching up with people.  It helps me focus on what I can still do in this thing, as opposed to lamenting what I can't.  I'm gutted I'm missing Boogie festival but there will be plenty of partying to be done when I'm out of this to make up for it.  All in all everything is ticking along nicely. I still can't wait to have this removed but I can put up with it for the duration and fantasise about hugs, showers and a funky new haircut until then.

7/04/2017 - On the bright side

(over half way at time of posting!)

With my last post being so whiny, I'm counter-acting it with a more positive view.  My last appointment went well, the pins are behaving themselves and I'm on track to having this removed on 12th May.

I had a lovely weekend, hanging with C and friends, watching and playing music and fishing on a beautiful, secluded beach.  I actually managed to take my mind of the halo and really appreciate where my life is at.  Aside from the obvious, I'm in a good place and have a lot to be thankful for.

First and foremost, I am surrounded by wonderful people and lots of love and good energy.  My parents have called nearly every day and talked me through the tough times.  My bro and best mate have called, text and sent funny videos to cheer me  up.  I've gone on enough about how fortunate I am to have met C and have him in my life and he also comes with an amazing family.  His parents have welcomed me into their home and provided me with love, support, comfort, and care. His sisters are looking out for me, checking I'm going ok, lending an ear and keeping me entertained.  My friends are always sending beautiful wishes and words of support.

Secondly, living in Australia means I have access to appropriate medical care and treatment and I haven't had to pay outright for any of it.  Without a job, I can't imagine the predicament I would be in if this had happened somewhere like America.

Worse things happen to better people.  The halo is a conversation starter and people tend to tell me about injuries and illnesses that they, or their loved ones have experienced or are still going through.  This really puts a perspective on what I'm enduring, which will all be done and dusted in 5 weeks.

The halfway point has been significant in adjusting my mindset.   The last week has flown by.  This point seemed so unreachable 3 weeks ago, yet here I am. Can't wait to get the bloody thing off but I'm on the home stretch now and it will all be ok.